so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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