So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
