So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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