I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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