We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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