I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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