Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize