I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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