Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
