Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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