ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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