the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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