I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
