i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
