There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
