He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
