You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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