I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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