We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
