People in love make me want to vomit
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
