Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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