Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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