I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
