hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
