I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
youre lurking in front of me
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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