I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
