so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
