i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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