i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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