Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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