i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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