so explain again why im purple
no
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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