At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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