Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
