I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
