Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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