i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
