I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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