I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
