its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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