i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Pants are for mortals
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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