if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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