Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
