You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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