She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
