careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
