She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
