Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
