whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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