We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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