Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
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