I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
