those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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