Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
