yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
