Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
