Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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