You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
