We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
