Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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