Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
