Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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